Toddlers and Tiara’s. WTF?

http://www.change.org/petitions/toddlers-in-tiaras-tlc-ban-the-show-for-child-abuse-towards-children

They serve some real epic sh*t on television sometimes, but just when you think that producers and networks have reached the deepest pits of the brown stuff, you accidentally hit the wrong remote button and land on TLC and you behold the tasteless, atrocious filth that is Toddlers and Tiara’s.  (If you don’t know what I am talking about it, don’t try and figure out what it is, just stay where you are in your happy place.)

Television shows only appear on the box when someone in a corner office is persuaded that there would be an audience for said program.  Or maybe they themselves have a specific affinity towards it.  Therefore it would be obvious that the dick who green lit this garbage is a paedophile or something much worse.  I cannot fathom why anyone else would want to watch this.  The viewers must be all listed as having a restraining order prohibiting them from being within 600 miles of a playground.  And NO it is not only my opinion.

Sherri Shepherd said on The View, “Your job is to protect your child … if you don’t think paedophiles are watching this show, I have a bridge I want to sell you.”  (Would like to know who Sherri Shepherd is, but for today she is my hero!)

To call this show controversial would be like calling World War 2 a minor disagreement.  It’s terrible and disgusting and perverted.  This is exactly the reason why some approaching aliens would shake their heads seeing that program and probably nuke the whole human race to oblivion.

“No hope here R2D2, no intelligent life form left on that blue ball. We can go ahead and built our intergalactic amusement park in this solar system, enough space, only seven planets left.  These idiots already declassified Pluto”

Why does the American societies advocating child welfare or child protection even allow these type of pageants to take place?  Is there not a PETA or something that is avidly protesting this?  Forget the lady who wants to wear a skunk skin on her body, we need to fight the mother who makes her 3-year-old dress like a drag queen and shake her tushy on stage!  In what universe would that be considered normal? Arrest those crazed, lunatic mothers on the spot for they are committing a felony people, it’s child abuse!  For @$%^&#/ sake.

What chances do any of those girls have of NOT growing up to be a bitch?  To allow your child to think that they are the “Supreme f*ckin Queen” is serious looney bin material.  No you poor, disillusioned mother, you are not raising a future Miss America, you are raising a stupid girl.  The kind that Pink sings about.

And where are the dads?  (Although some of those woman have also placed the fear of death in me, even only seeing them briefly) They are so competitive that I am convince they will beat you to a pulp with anything and everything they can get their hands on: Broom, cake roller, golf club, even the damn trophies their precious ones won.  They are THAT scary.  Like overweight goblin queens with bright red lips and even brighter red, 3-inch-long nails.  With make-up piled on with tools I don’t even own and probably requiring industrial strength paint stripper to remove it again.

But still guys, you got them pregnant, even if it was accidentally on a night when you were wasted out of your wits and Mother Nature screwed you over by allowing only some parts to still function properly.  You got the gift of lovely little girls, innocent babies who is now in the clutches of an industry that will gobble up their souls.  It is your duty as a father to protect them from the madness.  As a dad myself I cannot fathom why any parent would want to put their child through such torture.

Yes, I sound upset because I am upset.  I despise any form of violence or abuse against children, and it makes me sick to my stomach.  Any perpetrators of such crimes should be hanged upside down by their nuts, until they die.

But for these parents who groom their darling babies into the atrocities that I saw on that program, for them I have yet to think of a worthy punishment.  But I will…

Hear me, hear me all!  The parents, organisers, judges, agents, producers and everyone else involved in allowing this pile of crap to pollute my TV.  THIS IS CHILD EXPLOITATION!!

But maybe the worst of the worst is the audience, the people who ensure that we see spin-offs and repeats and more of these sick shows…It’s a sad day for me…

So someone please tell me a joke, I need to laugh.