You had one job to do. Just one.

Stupidity is a human condition. A rampant desease that infects people like a zombie virus. No-one is safe. Sometimes it’s only a momentary lapse of reason but there have been reports of severe cases where complete idiots are running around sharing their germs with the rest of us on a full time basis. And just like a zombie virus we run the risk of these infected ones spreading irrational thoughts and actions to the point of causing an apocalypse of intelligence on the planet. We constantly need to stomp out these dim-witted individuals. How about a register?

I receiced a call from our security company a few weeks ago about a parcel that is to be delivered to our plant. Nothing strange except for the fact that I am never called about deliveries. Seeing that I wasn’t rescuing the company from an imminent cash flow disaster in the midst of a global recesssion, I entertained the call. The security guard explained to me in broken English, which may come across as slightly derogitory because what makes me think that my comprehension of the English language is so much better than his. Let’s park that thought, shall we?

The security guard told me in a version of English I barely understood that they can not deliver said package as the driver cannot enter through the gate. Now before you assume that I work for some high profile chemical company that requires retinal scans and swabs for genetic identification in order to enter the premises, I do not. Our entry process is pretty simple, just leave your self-worth at the door whilst some stranger will frisk you as if he is performing a standing lapdance for cash. You will feel dirty. Welcome to our plant. I’m kidding. We’ll only take your kidney.

The reason why this specific courier could not pass through the gate was due to him being too drunk to do so. At 11h00 in the morning.

Now let’s pause here for a minute and digest the facts. Here was a driver of a courier company who is transporting something important that we undoubtedly paid for and he is wasted out of his mind. What’s even more astonishing is that the origin of said package was three hours away. And he arrived, and I may be repeating myself here, at 11h00 in the morning. Alcoholic much? I was left wondering if this dude hit every liquor store as he was passing through towns on his way to ours.

The true revelation of the irony was when they told me his blood alcohol level was registered as 0.21. Our legal limit is 0.08. It’s a miracle he was still able to stand, never mind drive a truck.

I had to see this person for myself and arriving at the gate I realised he was as drunk as I pictured him. Swaying from left to right like one of those piano timing thingies. Or more commonly known by English folk as a metronome. I’m educated, see. He wasn’t really concerned about my analogy, as a matter of fact, he wasn’t even apologetic about his little predicament either.

Which is why I got so annoyed.

This guy had one job. Deliver goods from point A to point B as safely and quickly as possible. He was oblivious on how many levels he failed such a simple task. Kudos to him for getting there in one piece. Not only was he placing the integrity of our parcel in jeopardy, because lets face it, once something has fallen off a truck it’s never the same again. Motors, bearings, kids… What was of greater concern was that he was also a ticking time bomb, placing every other innocent driver on the road in a potential life threatening situation. And that was certianly not going to fly with me.

The moral of the story is that drunk driving is stupid. Very stupid. Like the highest level of idiot known to man.

I reported him to his superiors because I am a dad and not just any dad, I’m Ah Dad. A warrior and blogger who are trying to exploit all kinds of stupid. One idiot at a time. And in so doing, hopefully preventing my kids from meeting them first and then bringing them home.

8 thoughts on “You had one job to do. Just one.

  1. What is with these idiots? I was reading an article recently that stated impaired driving is on the rise. WTF?

    I am glad you reported him. Hope he gets the help he needs & doesn’t kill anyone in the process.


    • We can only hope. I cannot fathom why anyone would want to get behind the wheel after they’ve been drinking! It’m convinced there is nothing more irresponsible or idiotic to do.

      Unless, off course, if you were planning a short holiday to Syria, that would be more stupid.


  2. Glad you took care of business. There’s no excuse for driving drunk. Like you said, not only was he risking his own life, but the the lives of other drivers as well. He’s a contender for a Darwin Award.


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