Dude can be a Bond villain

I’ve mentioned that Dude loves drama.  And not in the way the Kardashians or any one of the other Housewive-shitshows like drama.  He likes to act.  In a play.  On a stage.

Their high school puts on a play every year and Dude has been lucky enough to get a role every year since he joined.  It’s four years now.  What can I say?  The apple falls very far from the tree.  Like miiiiiiiiles…

It all good, except for the little known fact that he has been cast as the villain in the last three plays he was in.  Portraying revolting creatures, crafted from the foul scraps left over when they drained the cesspool of humanity.  Kids who are degenerates of society.

Three years ago he got a girl pregnant and left her like cold turkey.  Last year he posted nude photos of a girl on social media and she ended up committing suicide.  This year he played a homophobic bully, who ends up being held hostage by the poor kid, only to see the victim blowing his brain out too. Like I said, disgusting characters…

Dude blew us away with subtle nuances and expressions, switching between a frightened teenager held at gunpoint and a viscous bully in some of the flashback scenes.

His portrayal is a bit of a concern.  A subtle poke at my parenting skills, or the lack thereof.   Dude enjoys every moment on stage, digging deep into a darkness I didn’t knew he possessed, indulging in the shadows that lurk there.  For the sake of art.

Because let’s face it, we all have a dark side.  And not in a I-want-to-drive-my-car-into-a-crowd-of-innocent-people because that would imply the need to be institutionalized.  I mean by way of an urge to say what we want, to call people out for the bullshit they sling around.  To erupt in fury when things become too much.  To stand on a podium and scream at the chaos erupting around us: CAN WE ALL JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN! PLEASE.  To not consider the consequences of our words.  Or actions.

But we don’t.  We understand physics…An action…a reaction.  We control the urges.  We keep our mouths shut.  We keep calm. We act civil. We do what is expected. We simply take the hit and swallow the insults.  We count to ten.  We keep the beast locked up in a dungeon where no-one could find it.  Because we’re not animals.  We’re all just fine people.

But sometimes we should let loose. We should stand up and say something.  Talk about the uncomfortable stuff.  The things we bottle up.  We should call out the villains in our lives, make them take responsibility for the hurt and the pain they cause and not just lie in shreds and tatters in a corner and live out a tragedy of silence.  We should rise up, stand proud and let the animal roar, rid ourselves of the chains that might end up destroying us later.  Be the hero of your own story, so get on the damn dragon and burn those fuc…

Anyhow, getting back to my point.  Based on Dude’s track record and list of performances, he would be an ideal James Bond villain, considering Daniel Craig just confirmed he is slated to have his martini shaken, not stirred, for one more movie, coming out in 2019.

I even have an idea for a plot: James Bond saves the world from a narcissistic, self-absorbed, American dictator who threatens nuclear war.  Just get Dude in a fat suit and an atrocious wig and and throw three tons of orange paint on him and he’ll be good to go…