What I miss the most 

Travelling is part of my life like the hump on that cartoon character from Notre dame. It’s uncomfortable but probably makes me more interesting. I think…

Getting to the end of the year, this hump of mine is becoming a life crushing burden.  I hate carting the damn thing around everywhere.  And I’m not referring to the hump, I’m referring to the fucking suitcase. Focus.

I hate slugging it around as if my life depends on it. Continue reading

Braces off

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You should thank me for NOT posting some of the other images one gets when Googling “crooked teeth”.  Image courtesy of http://www.mydentail.ie

As parents we are very much aware of events in the lives of our children, especially when it comes to signs of them growing up.

We celebrate their first tooth, their first word and their first step.  We celebrate their first successful poop in a potty.  And then commence to change a thousand soiled underpants thereafter.  We celebrate their first day of kindergarten with tears of joy and their last day of high school with unattractive sobbing. Continue reading

Why the Blogger Recognition Award is the coolest thing to happen to me this week.

Most of my weeks sucks because I have to work and it’s been an eternity since my last holiday.  What makes matters worse is that both my kids have finished their final exams of their respective grades and they’re sitting at home doing nothing.  Sorry, that’s technically not true; they’re hanging out with friends around the pool playing pool, getting hooked on PS4 and YouTube crazes, sleeping in…you know keeping busy like teenagers keep busy.

And I have to pay for all of it with blood, sweat and tears.

Then this happened… Continue reading

Gym will never be the same again.

I’ve been busy.  On all fronts.  And things changed.  Drastically.

This week marks the first time that I was able to persuade Princess to join us in our routine torture sessions before the sun shows his friendly, fat face.  (I’m still moderately intrigued as to why she suddenly agreed to join us but in order to protect my sanity, I’m not going to dwell on that too long.)

Selling the concept of training in the morning was far easier than the execution thereof.  It took a lot of persuasion to finally get her to wake up and get dressed in some kind of sports attire.  Think ‘trying to fit and elephant in a mini cooper’.  Not that I’m insinuating she’s fat because she definitely is not.  She’s not even overweight.  Besides wouldn’t I be an awful parent if I called my daughter an elephant?  Even though she laughs like Heffalump.  I’m getting side-tracked… Continue reading

Laugh with me #45

I know I’ve posted yesterday.  Twice actually.  I normally don’t post these GIFS in quick succession but I couldn’t resist.  It’s another birthday fail that cracked me up like a great episode of Friends.

It’s also a near perfect example of how parents can ruin the life of their kids.  Other examples include parents displaying signs of affection in public, a Mom showing baby photo’s to any prospective boyfriends/girlfriends and a Dad performing sexy dance moves at a birthday party.

Or doing this…I reckon the poor kid requires counselling.

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The world is burning

I’m sitting here in absolute disbelief.  Sickened by humanity.  Disappointed in the human race.  No wonder aliens wouldn’t bother reasoning with us.  We’re an intolerant, judgmental, hateful bunch of a-holes.  They’ll just use their green-ray guns and vaporize us to smithereens before starting over. “Zoom. Zap. Done.”

What is happening to the world we live in?  Between bombings, shootings, violence, protests, referendums and political insecurity it feels like we are on the brink of being dumped right back into the Middle Ages. I don’t know much, but I do know that I won’t be able to defend myself with a sword.  Please tell me I’m dreaming and I’ve watched one too many Game of Thrones episodes…

But my twitter feed tells me otherwise. Continue reading

A letter to my 16 year-old son

To the greatest Dude on earth

It’s been three years since I wrote you a letter.  Three years.  WTF!  My mind is officially blown.  What happened to time?  Back then you were just a kid about to enter the turmoil teenage years.  And look at you!  Turning sixteen today!  And you’re handsome and wise and funny…just like dad.13339486_10206581173063436_7685688785425361829_n

You didn’t, contrary to popular belief, turn into some Emo-antisocial-rebellious piece of shit.  You’re still a joy to behold.  You’re still someone I’m extremely proud of.  You’re still someone who I will fight for until my last breath.  Someone I might even love more than Mom….nah…

You didn’t rock the boat or entered any dangerous waters.  Thanks for making it easy to be your Father.  Thank you for being a person of character.  Someone who takes responsibility.  Who’s still as passionate as ever.  You didn’t really change at all, you’ve just turned into a mature version of the cute, little boy.  I know I’m getting soppy but I promise not to cry, at least not in front of you. Continue reading

As happy as a lark

20110710_df1_20110607_1022_060-065 skylark singing in flight (selected) 09-14 of 16 (sequential impression montage @ 7fps)(r+mb id@768)

Thanks to http://www.moorhen.me.uk for the pretty pic

Being a father makes me happy as a lark.  I simply love being a Dad.  It remains one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever attempted to do. Attempted, as I’m still busy trying to figure it out.  Winging it, so to speak.  Fortunately for us, our little birdies haven’t flown the coop. They still snuggle under our wings.  There has not been a need for them to spread their own.  Wings, that is. Continue reading

Calling Shotgun! might even result in world peace

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In that moment when Henry Ford invented the first black car, he introduced an eternal battle among all siblings.  A universal crisis facing every parent on a daily basis.  A headache inducing logistical nightmare, and another reason why Cain killed Abel.  I’ll bet my salary that someone, somewhere is having a fight about it right now. Some poor father having to decipher and figure out which kid gets to ride in the front seat…

With my limited attention span I barely remember what stuff to buy on a trip to the shop, never mind trying to remember whose turn it is to take that coveted spot next to me. Continue reading

I’ve crossed the river

So this is what it feels like to post after hours…

Music has always been a huge part of my life or more importantly our lives. Especially when you consider our glorious union is celebrating twenty years, come November.  It’s therefore kind of obvious that Dude and Princess would also turn out to be lovers of lyric and melody.

I’ve always pride myself in having an open mind.  I consider myself to be a “modern, hip, trendy” kind of dad.  The type of father who often embarrass his kids on purpose with quirky comments and the random use of the word “Dude”.  I am certainly not the type of parent who would refuse to listen to the music my kids find entertaining. I enjoy some modern bands. Some of the time.

But with the risk of being exposed to maniacs like Kanye, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber who are also selling records; I deserve a medal for keeping an open mind on this battlefield of popular music. Maybe even a bag of them. Continue reading