I got older without noticing it

Age is a number, they say.  Age is a mental concept, they say.  You’re only as old as you feel, they say.  Well “they” can go and f…ondle themselves on a highway.  “They” are walking around with their head up their ass because growing old is inevitable but ridiculously hard to get used to.  I’ve gained a newfound understanding for how age can creep up on you and then jump and throttle you like a facehugger.

We spend our annual holiday camping at a family resort, which is basically paying a lot of money to live like a homeless person.  I used to be very anxious and actively involved in setting up our camp site making sure everything is done in a proper way because camping becomes a lot less fun when the wind blows your tent to the next country.  The resort we stay at has people who are more than happy to set up the site for you, at a fee of course.  Being who I am, I didn’t oblige because I have slaves working for free, my two teenage kids.   Continue reading

I severed a third of my left foot.


Like this but on my left foot.

Holiday at my house implies camping. With a caravan.  I’m not a savage.

Some feel that camping is just a rich man’s way of understanding how homeless people live. I tend to disagree.  Camping is just my way of avoiding beds that had countless sleeping bodies on them before.

Another reason for using a caravan would the access to electricity, a roof and running water.  It’s something the Wife requires. She’s fancy like that.

Setting up camp is nearly not as much fun as it may sounds.  It’s hard labour and involves lifting, hitting, unfolding, holding and screaming at the rest of the family for not moving as quickly as I want them too. Continue reading