Get to know me

This was homework given to me courtesy of All in Dad’s work and Crubbs and Critters before time began.  Before dinosaurs ruled the earth and fax machines was considered a luxury.  This post is so long overdue that I would be very surprised if they even remember giving this assignment to me.  If this was a school project I wouldn’t even get detention because the teacher would probably be dead already.

ww

In the spirit of all my new followers of my blog and the fact that I’ve been absent for more than a year, I thought it a good idea to provide some critical information about yours truly. Better late than never. Here goes:

  1. Who are you named after? My Dad.  It’s a family name which I didn’t pay forward.
  2. Do you like your handwriting?  Yes.  It’s lovely, like a crab crawling through ink.
  3. What is your favorite lunch meat? Anything. And everything. Except Enterprise viennas and poloni.
  4. Longest relationship? The one that I’m in.  Dated for 2, married for 22.
  5. Do you still have your tonsils? I think so but I attended a conference in Bangkok last year and came back with a sore throat and fuzzy memory and I didn’t check what was the black market price for tonsils at the time.
  6. Would you bungee jump? No. Unless someone pays me three-twenty-eight-and-a-half thousand-million-hundred dollars.  I’m easy, but not cheap.  Or good in maths.
  7. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Yes, I’m not a barbarian unless they’re slops.  Then I just flick them at the closest kid.
  8. Favorite ice cream? I’m not a massive fan of sweet stuff but if someone wants to buy one for me I’ll struggle through a nice big cup of vanilla and strawberry soft serve.
  9. What is the first thing you notice about people? Whether they’re happy or not.  You can see it on a person’s face. I tend to avoid unhappy people.  Life’s too short.
  10. Football or baseball?  Neither.  I’m not American.  Or European.  Or bored out of my mind.  I watch rugby.
  11. What color pants are you wearing? Dark blue chinos because I’m trendy AF.
  12. Last thing you ate? Two burgers in one sitting.  I’m awesome.
  13. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? This has to be the weirdest question I’ve ever come across.  Oh no wait, it isn’t.  That honour belongs to the time when they asked me whether my third leg was a prosthesis but that is a story for another day.
  14. Favorite smell?  Weed. I’m just kidding.  Jeez, relax why don’t you.  When someone is smoking weed.
  15. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My parole officer.
  16. Hair color?  Mousy brown with a couple of tasteful grey stripes that are strategically placed to make me look more mature and responsible, courtesy of God.
  17. Eye color?  Green/Grey. I know.  I have never been able to pick one.  Let’s just say my eyes are greyeen.  Aaaaand I’ve just invented a new colour.
  18. Favorite foods to eat? Spaghetti Bolognaise, steak and anything with wine. But not brussel sprouts because if you can eat that shit you are also the type of person that place kittens in a tumble dryer for three minutes.
  19. Scary movies or happy endings? I’ve got teenagers so my day basically swings between a horror movie and a happy ending.  I like superhero movies.  And let’s be clear, Catwoman and the rebooted atrocity of the Fantastic Four doesn’t count as superhero movies.  Wait a minute, what kind of happy ending are we talking about here?
  20. Last movie you watched?  Pitch Perfect 3.  Don’t judge.  They make music with their mouths.
  21. Favorite Holiday? Not working.
  22. Beer or Wine? Duh…this is such a stupid question.
  23. Night owl or early bird? If I had a choice, night owl but adulthood and parenting gets in the way of me achieving my ultimate dream of sleeping in every day.  How I do love sleeping…
  24. Favorite day of the week? Wineday because that could be every day.

25. Which three of your favorite bloggers you would like to know more about? And who were the last three people to follow your blog?

They happen to be the same three people.  Coincidence?  No, just me being lazy and I listed six. ‘Cause it’s my blog and I can do what I like.  Besides, she said it was fine.

Sh!t you don’t need to know about me

A Momma’s view posted thirty-five questions and invited anyone to participate.  Or not. Don’t get nervous!  It’s fine if you have a stick up your arse and reject the opportunity to answer the strangest list of questions ever compiled in the history of blogging.

It’s not like she knows where you live.  Or like she’s going to find you in your bed, slit your throat and eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti…Or will she?

Besides, I’m at work and just submitted my first MBA assignment, so why the hell not? Continue reading

Sixty questions is more than you think…

A similar post made for highly entertaining and laugh inducing reading over at Mollytopia.  Another coffee snort episode.  So I though what the hell, I don’t have anything better to do at work today…

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Closed.  I’m semi-obsessive about it and monsters can’t open doors.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

Yes, they are the best birthday presents as long as you keep them as a set.

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

Tucked in.  I’m not a homeless person. Nor am I a savage. Continue reading

I received a Liebster award nomination!

I am doing a little victory dance right now.  Sort of a mix between Gangham style and Rainman…

My first reaction was: Is this really happening?  Am I dreaming?  I would like to thank my agent…OK, so I am getting carried away here… Sorry, I have not been nominated for a lot of things in my life.  This is sort of mind-blowing and I agree with all the losers at the annual Oscars, it is an honour to be nominated!

liebster-award-e1355858473421

I would like to thank Shelbur10 for this nomination.  PLEASE go and read her blog, it’s funny, witty and very entertaining.

Here goes my attempt and answering the questions she posed:

1. Beef or chicken.  Why?

I am South African, so we consider chicken a vegetable.  What’s left is beef and lamb.  

2. What is the thing that you’re the most proud of accomplishing?

For suckering my wife into marrying me, and to keep her by my side for the last 16 years.  Yes, I know it’s a cliché, but I love her dammit!

3. Where’s the most interesting place you’ve ever visited, or the place you’d most like to visit?

Interesting bad or interesting good?  Cause I’ve been to both.  I’ll  go for the latter…NEW YORK!  NEW YORK!  It’s an empire state of mind…

4. Do you cook?  Why or why not?

I did mention that I am married, right?  No, I don’t cook, does braai count? 

5. What is your favorite thing you’ve ever written?  Was is received the way you expect and/or hoped?

I specifically enjoyed writing “The first time ever I saw your face”  which is about the birth of my son.  Was the reaction expected, 5 people liked it..Hell ya!

6. Your very favorite pick-me-up song?

First read the question as pick-up song.  “Tonight I’m lovin’ you” by Enrique.  I re-read the question and scrapped the first idea.    Anything from Train or Britney Spears or Bon Jovi or Pink or Linkin Park.  I know…Britney!!  Don’t worry, I have a weekly support group I go to. I immediately fall into a dark hole when I hear Justin Bieber.  What is he; a she-male?

7. Do you opt for convenience or sustainability?  Aka: paper plates or extra dishes to wash?  (ps, there are no wrong answers, cause I do both)

Was about to go to the dictionary, but fortunately she gave the meaning of the words in the question.  Clever girl, read her blog!  I despise washing dishes, so I would go for convenience. 

8. What is one word that you always misspell?

Queie, quee, queue.  That’s it, 3rd time lucky, I think.

9. What is your stance on raisins?  Healthy treat or unwelcome chewy devil?

In the big, empty cosmos that is my mind I have to admit, this topic has not appeared before, until now…  healthy treat.

10. Do you find spontaneity exciting or unsettling?

I write on random things that most people don’t even see.   I travel across the globe and share the house with three hilarious human beings, I have impulsive friends.  I definitely love spontaneity.  (Definitely is another word I can add to question 8 as it is always being corrected by the spell checker)

11. What is your favorite beverage?

Red wine, white wine, red wine, red wine.

Thanks for reading!