My love, your car hates me.

I’m 6’4″.  That’s tall.  In any country.  I’m proud of my height, I’ve worked damn hard to get this tall.  It took countless awkward moments throughout puberty and then some. My length allows me to be heavier than most people simply because the weight has a wider distance of distribution.   Or at least that’s what I like to believe.  It enables me to do things that normal people can’t.  Like getting the sales items that’s normally hidden on the top shelf of a grocery store.  You didn’t know?  I’m able to spot my friends from a mile in a crowd.  And then avoid them.  It allows me to have a perfect, unhindered view at any concert, whilst people behind me normally start swearing as soon as I stand up.

My length does make certain things a little more problematic.  Like taking a bath or buying a standard pair of jeans or walking around construction sites or being stuck in an economy seat for eleven hours with the rest of the cattle.  My biggest frustration for being tall is having to drive a normal sized car.  Which is why I don’t.  And which is why Wife does. Continue reading

Calling Shotgun! might even result in world peace

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In that moment when Henry Ford invented the first black car, he introduced an eternal battle among all siblings.  A universal crisis facing every parent on a daily basis.  A headache inducing logistical nightmare, and another reason why Cain killed Abel.  I’ll bet my salary that someone, somewhere is having a fight about it right now. Some poor father having to decipher and figure out which kid gets to ride in the front seat…

With my limited attention span I barely remember what stuff to buy on a trip to the shop, never mind trying to remember whose turn it is to take that coveted spot next to me. Continue reading