Gym bingo (or People aliens should probe and/or vaporize first…)

Aliens near a UFO

Aliens near a UFO October 1, 2000 as per http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Yes I’m a member.  Of a gym.   Humans who obviously doesn’t have a life. Some might even say I belong to a weird cult who gets up every morning and worship the gods of fitness by offerings of sweat and fat, generated by too much tofu, kale, tuna, brocolli and all other tasty treats.  A sub-culture chasing an unattainable dream of creating better versions of ourselves, with an elusive six-pack tucked away under layers of desperation and vanity.

Or maybe we just prefer to be able to climb a flight of stairs or walk through an average sized mall without feeling like the oxygen supply to our lungs have been cut off permanently.

The truth is that I need this moderate commitment to fitness if only to prevent me from killing some of my coworkers with a stapler.  Or a computer screen.  Or my frigging SUV.  It’s my therapy. Continue reading

Hey Captain Douche, excuse me, I’m flexing here.

With all the baffoons roaming the Serengeti of a gym, I’m surprised I’m still grazing there at all…

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In my time on this blog I’ve had moments of ranting about naked guys and nipple showings.  It wouldn’t surprise me if some of the wonderful readers of this blog are starting to think that I’m training at some R-rated fitness facility, as some of the instructors also shadow as ladies of the night… Continue reading

Things I hate more than a root canal

Sorry for causing painful flashbacks to some of you as you read my title.  And if you’re not moved in any way, you’re a masochist.  You probably consider 50 Shades of Grey a beautiful piece of literature and like all things kinky and painful.  To wet your sick appetite for more moments of pain spread throughout this post, I’ve decided to add some visual stimulation in the form of tooth porn…

No I didn’t.  Or rather, I couldn’t.   The high levels of disgust after seeing some disturbing pictures of bad teeth prevented me from posting.  Most of them I seriously regret finding.  Which should be a warning to all: Don’t Google Image everything you can think of!

I decided to play it safe and stick with a simple Wikipedia schematic that would be appropriate for a (mostly) kid friendly blog.  This will prevent permanent scaring of my readers or not.

Got this pretty little diagram from Wikipedia, which might still haunt your dreams for a very long time.

Continue reading