When words escape me.

It has been said that there are humans walking around with special abilities. Some people who are genetically tweaked to perform better than the rest. Super powers. (And it doesn’t include the STARE because all women posses the STARE.  It’s the look husbands get on the reply of “I’m only gonna have one, my love.”  Or when you reply innocently: “What?” *insert shoulder pull ups*)

I know this to be true for I have met such a man. A man who has the uncanny ability to absorb any attempt at conversation and destroy it instantaneously. The science behind this power is not known but I suspect he creates a vacuum in the fourth dimension where he sucks all the words from your mouth.  Imagine a dark abyss where words go to die. A black hole of communication. Continue reading

Anticipating Deadpool

deadpool1-gallery-image

Wanna cuddle?

Good morning, afternoon and evening to you all.  My name is Ah Dad and I am a Superheriolic.  (Also evidently, slightly confused about time-zones.)  It has been more than two weeks since my last viewing.  And that was a re-run of the first Superman.  What can I say, I was desperate.

Most of my regular peeps (I’m tryin’ to be hip and cool in front of the kids) would know that I am proudly geek and have an unrealistic love of all things super, including my Wife. Continue reading

Ah Dad, a Dude @ Da Concert in Durban.

It’s no secret I love the Script.  I mean I really, really, really do.  The Wife understands.  My friends understand.  Dude has known all along.  He is also a fan, but I’m not sure he would use the word love in the same context as I do.  But if love implies devotion, admiration, loyalty, support and paying someone to spend time with them, well then I love them.

Why are we waiting!  Why are we waiting!

Why are we waiting! Why are we waiting!

The Script kicked off their latest world tour in sunny South Africa.  They played in Jo’burg, Durban and Cape Town over the past weekend.  Tickets for the Durban show moved faster than the food at a lunch buffet at the opening of parliament.  I got two of those.  For the Dude and I. Continue reading

Writing 101 – Day 7: Give and Take (It happened in a phone booth)

An exercise in using dialogue for Writing 101. Sort of…

Clark was busy getting rid of his shirt and tie, showing flashes of the famous red and yellow logo.  He sighed and said “Why do we always choose the smallest places for these costume changes.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” he replied, loosening his belt.

“I’m just saying, it’s cramped and we are a big guy.”

“Ok genius, that’s the second spectacularly stupid idea you came up with today.  The first one was this awful tie.  What do you suppose we do with our clothes, Einstein?  Just shove it in a dumpster.  You don’t earn enough money at the Planet to replace clothes that often.”

“I know, I’m just saying.  I’m sick of it.  And it’s not just the bad pay.”

“Oh for Krypton’ sake, what’s wrong now?  You sound more and more like an old lady every day.  Nagging is not a very attractive trait on a grown man you know.” He flexes his left arm to avoid cramping. Continue reading

Superheroes – The real ones!

Shit, shit, shit…sometimes words evade me, but The Script is one amazing band!  Hence a triplicate of bad words that has all the good intentions of Mother Theresa.

I’m totally obsessed with Danny and the gang, and in a good way I mean.  I’m not going to stalk them or anything.  If I was a girl or if I was younger or if I was slightly less responsible, maybe then I would have been a groupie.

And here is their latest single, and it’s truly, inspirational sh!t.  Continue reading

This is 40…Round 4

How the hell can I!!!!

How the hell can I!!!!

Blah blah, blah blah blah…fourth set… blah blah…things I learned…..blah…list for my kids…blah blah *burp* (excuse me)…blah…turning 40 in 13 days.

16. Don’t be afraid to be unique, to stand out in a crowd, to be the one that everyone is talking about.  Embrace your individuality, even if it’s short and covered in braces, even if it stands out like Las Vegas in the Nevada desert. (I’m wondering if my reference is accurate?)  Embrace it!  For being like everyone else is being boring.  Be yourself, you’ll be happier and content for no one can act like a different person for a prolonged period of time, not even Meryl Streep.  Ok, maybe she’ll nail it, but she’ll be the only one, for she’s unique. (See how it works)  So listen to Britney Spears until you’re forty, even if her latest album is an utter disappointment and mostly consist of garbage.  Jam to Nickelback even if the purists head bang to Metallica. Do drama. Write poetry. Read comics.  Don’t do drugs.  One day the geek and the nerd that people might perceive you to be at fourteen, will be the go-to-guy when all the major blockbusters of twenty years later will turn out to be Superhero movies!  And he still gets the girl.

17. Don’t evaluate beauty on looks alone.  Yes, off course, who wants to date a female ogre, but there is something really awe-inspiring and kinda breath-taking in how your perception will transform, once you take the time to get to know a person.  So take the time, asshole.  Your female ogre might actually turn out to be a princess.  (Which, by the way, would be a great idea for an animated movie!) Inner beauty lasts forever.  Humour never fades and kindness, patience, tenderness and those other endearing qualities only increases with age.  And even though L’Oreal and the whole frigging cosmetic industry are trying to tell you different, you WILL grow old and get wrinkles, irrespective of the gallons of shit you might have to put on your face.  The only super effective beauty treatment for eternal youth is Photoshop.  Even a facelift cannot do anything about neck skin or brown spotted hands.

18.Find something you love and do it.  And this is not meant as a sexual innuendo, it implies a hobby, or sport, or whatever your mind can conjure.  Being able to spend time on your own with something you love is not only good for stress, it also allows your mind to rant and rave in silence, thereby sorting out all the files and pieces of paper that is still not properly organized in the right cabinets.  And you won’t offend anyone, unless off course your thing turns out be talking to yourself.  In public.

19.  If you can’t say something nice about a person then shut the hell up. And don’t do what I do, do what I say.  I’m trying, goddamit.

20.  When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you.  That’s all.  It’s an art for humans to accept a compliment gracefully, for we tend to go to one of two extremes.  Woman normally go into an extensive explanation of how undeserving they actually are towards your compliment, even if you said something trivial like “Wow, your hair smells nice.”  And men, well we just know how spectacular we are, so we normally can’t stop talking when someone else finally see what I’ve known for so many years.  Oh, it is only me?  Well, as I mentioned before, just say thank you.

And as I’m now half way on this traitorous road, here’s hoping I have learned enough lessons to make it to 40!!!

Be the Hulk

hulk face (11)

Hulk smash or tears through paper…

There are two kinds of people in this world.  (Probably the nine most quoted words of the English language)  But only because it’s true.

Type 1:  Heroes.  Ordinary people who “always look on the bright side of life…” (Who is whistling?) People who allow their inner superhero to shine, who saves the world one day at a time.  People who unknowingly makes the world a better place for all they come in contact with.   Leaving a fragrance of positivity that rubs off on anyone passing by.  Those people you want to know, people you want to spend time with, people like my wife.  You almost want to run after them, want to cling to there legs, like a desperate child, longing to absorb their energy, their essence…for they raise you up…  Ok, let’s not get carried away.  You get the idea.

Then there is type 2: Villains.  People who basically do none of the above.  They just grovel along on a daily basis.  Complain about how full  of shit other people are, how life sucks and just blaming everything around them for the sorry state of their pathetic lives.  We all know them.  They pull you down, flood your mind with a dark avalanche of negativity and drags your soul to the pits of hell.  Again, let’s not get carried away.

You see I have been contemplating this issue for some time.  Why do we get heroes and villans?  And the answer, in my humble opinion, would be: Choice.  Wow!  (Convinced I am not receiving the Nobel price for philosophy on that one) But my question remains: Why do people choose the dark side?  Life is essentially a series of events that happen to us and how we react to those said events is a CHOICE.

Case in point, Dr. Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk.  For those uninformed around here, he is the big green, testosterone filled, anger machine, or better known as “the guy who side punched Thor in the face.”

Dr Bruce was a mild-mannered, super intellectual, who was an expert on gamma radiation.   He was caught in the middle of a terrible accident that changed his life forever.  Sound familiar?  He turned into this big green monster.  It changed his situation, and some would argue, not for the better.  Wallmart does not stock his size, as is evident by the purple, shredded pants he’s always seen in.

Bottom line is that after this incident; he’s life changed forever.  Every time he gets pissed off, or overly emotional, or squared in a corner he would transform.  Bye-bye human, hello monster.  And he couldn’t control it.  He couldn’t manage his anxiety and stress in particular situations, or what I like to call his post traumatic stress disorder.  The Hulk became his nemesis.

He ran away.  Hiding from everyone, fearing exposure of the reality that he now has to live with.  Staying in ghetto’s, living a quiet life, refusing to confront an integral part of what makes him, him.  The fact is that the accident happened and the consequence of that accident is his new reality.  It would not go away, and he will not be able to change it.  He has to accept it, but the good doctor choose to hide it.

Then things changed.  He was summoned by a hot red-head.  Someone needed him, or more accurate, the world needed him.  The irony was that the world didn’t need Bruce Banner, they needed the Hulk.  The world needed the aspect of his existence that he was trying to hide.  They needed the survivor, the one who walked through the fire and came out altered, wiser and alive.  See where I am going with this?

And when Bruce Banner decided that he had something to offer, when he decided to expose his altered version, then everything changed.  The team kicked ass.

People who go through bad experiences and choose to stand up; transforms from victims into heroes.  The alternative decision would be to move from victim to villain.  And every human being makes that choice daily for these are the only two choices we have.

We need to choose HERO.  The world needs them. Let’s choose to absorb all the challenges of life and turn it into something spectacular.  Let’s embrace the insults, the bruises and the injuries and walk through the fire with our heads held high.  Don’t stop in the middle of the rain storm an open the umbrella, walk until you reach clear skies and bright sunlight.

Don’t be the victim, don’t be the villain.  BE THE HERO.  Then Captain America will say:

“YOU HULK, YOU SMASH!”