homework

This was homework given to me courtesy of All in Dad’s work and Crubbs and Critters before time began. Before dinosaurs ruled the earth and fax machines was considered a luxury. This post is so long overdue that I would be very surprised if they even remember giving this assignment to me. If this was a school project I wouldn’t even get detention because the teacher would probably be dead already.

In the spirit of all my new followers of my blog and the fact that I’ve been absent for more than a year, I thought it a good idea to provide some critical information about yours truly. Better late than never. Here goes:

Who are you named after? My Dad. It’s a family name which I didn’t pay forward.
Do you like your handwriting? Yes. It’s lovely, like a crab crawling through ink.
What is your favorite lunch meat? Anything. And everything. Except Enterprise viennas and poloni.
Longest relationship? The one that I’m in. Dated for 2, married for 22.
Do you still have your tonsils? I think so but I attended a conference in Bangkok last year and came back with a sore throat and fuzzy memory and I didn’t check what was the black market price for tonsils at the time.
Would you bungee jump? No. Unless someone pays me three-twenty-eight-and-a-half thousand-million-hundred dollars. I’m easy, but not cheap. Or good in maths.
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Yes, I’m not a barbarian unless they’re slops. Then I just flick them at the closest kid.
Favorite ice cream? I’m not a massive fan of sweet stuff but if someone wants to buy one for me I’ll struggle through a nice big cup of vanilla and strawberry soft serve.
What is the first thing you notice about people? Whether they’re happy or not. You can see it on a person’s face. I tend to avoid unhappy people. Life’s too short.
Football or baseball? Neither. I’m not American. Or European. Or bored out of my mind. I watch rugby.
What color pants are you wearing? Dark blue chinos because I’m trendy AF.
Last thing you ate? Two burgers in one sitting. I’m awesome.
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? This has to be the weirdest question I’ve ever come across. Oh no wait, it isn’t. That honour belongs to the time when they asked me whether my third leg was a prosthesis but that is a story for another day.
Favorite smell? Weed. I’m just kidding. Jeez, relax why don’t you. When someone is smoking weed.
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My parole officer.
Hair color? Mousy brown with a couple of tasteful grey stripes that are strategically placed to make me look more mature and responsible, courtesy of God.
Eye color? Green/Grey. I know. I have never been able to pick one. Let’s just say my eyes are greyeen. Aaaaand I’ve just invented a new colour.
Favorite foods to eat? Spaghetti Bolognaise, steak and anything with wine. But not brussel sprouts because if you can eat that shit you are also the type of person that place kittens in a tumble dryer for three minutes.
Scary movies or happy endings? I’ve got teenagers so my day basically swings between a horror movie and a happy ending. I like superhero movies. And let’s be clear, Catwoman and the rebooted atrocity of the Fantastic Four doesn’t count as superhero movies. Wait a minute, what kind of happy ending are we talking about here?
Last movie you watched? Pitch Perfect 3. Don’t judge. They make music with their mouths.
Favorite Holiday? Not working.
Beer or Wine? Duh…this is such a stupid question.
Night owl or early bird? If I had a choice, night owl but adulthood and parenting gets in the way of me achieving my ultimate dream of sleeping in every day. How I do love sleeping…
Favorite day of the week? Wineday because that could be every day.

25. Which three of your favorite bloggers you would like to know more about? And who were the last three people to follow your blog?

They happen to be the same three people. Coincidence? No, just me being lazy and I listed six. ‘Cause it’s my blog and I can do what I like. Besides, she said it was fine.